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Humour from a British Friend

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What do you call and Australian with "100" against his name on the score board?

....A Bowler

What do call an Australian who is good with Bats?

...A Vet

What do you call an Australian holding a bottle of Champagne?

...A waiter

Why does Australia have a large Wine Surplus?

...No Openers

Ponting has JUST walked out to the centre when Ian Botham rings from the UK on a Mobile Phone, off plan, at peak time,

"I want to speak to Ponting please"

Sorry, he has just gone out to bat

"That's OK, I'll HOLD"

Well, some Pom would have posted them anyway.......

Edited by DarrylH

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I avoid watching cricket since the vainglorious display of bounding around like teenage schoolgirls hugging their team mates at the smallest excuse (eg a catch) has come into vogue. Totally lacking in any sense of dignity or humility, completely devoid of any sportsmanship, as evinced by their propensity to sledge - if they were sheepdogs you wouldn't bother to feed them, or horses they would be at the knackers - Yes, they are highly skilled, but with egos overriding any sense of propriety - applies to all nationalities in televised cricket at the moment. :P

Edited by Hotspot

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Teecee...always take some of the wind out of their sails when you know they are going to go full Spinacker anyway.. :thumbsup:


I couldn't agree more and seldom watch ANY professional sport these days. Over rated, over paid, over estimated morons for a good part. (leaving aside totally how ANYONE could think it was a good idea to go to a hotel room with a 16 year old girl and ten of their closest "mates" for an intimate gathering).

If I hear the word "hero" applied to them one more time I WILL puke.

I have never seen a single act of "heroism" in sport. I have only ever seen one act requiring super human willpower (not "courage" ) and that was the marathon runner at the olympics a few years back who finished dead last, by (IIRC) about an hour...REFUSED to quit and collapsed just after the finish line, requiring urgent medical assistance...a feat reminiscent of the origin of the Marathon.

But you have me started on one of my favourite soapbox rants...so i will quietly fade/disolve.


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The only thing worse that the mid-pitch love-in when a wicket falls is the women tennis players who screan and grunt as though they are having an orgasm :)



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Yes it is amazing what capitalism and celebrity will do to a good game - I played cricket for years and then loved it in all it's aspects (local comps/tests at the Gabba/ABC radio/ABC TV) until the first ads started to appear - then it stopped being a game and became a business, as Mr Packer went on to prove completely BangHead.gif

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Well I have been out of Aus for eleven years now, and it looks to me as if a lot has changed.. who would have thought that one of the top two national games would ever come in to disrepute.. how sad. I used to love the one day matches.. and more often than not the the tests too. What a shame. Teecee.

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